Why Are Narcissists Such Good Bad People?

For me, what makes a plot work is when the actions and relationships of the characters in the story make sense given who each person is . . . on the inside. It’s that last little bit that adds mystery. When it’s said that people are not what they seem (and that is what you read on the back flaps of novels), the conclusion is, someone in the story has fooled you and everyone in his or her life. What fun.

The highpoint in the story is when he or she makes the fatal slip and is revealed for the liar, murderer, or good-hearted and self-sacrificing person no one knew. In fact, in a good story, an important character turns out to behave in an opposite way than you ever expected. 

With the narcissistic character, you may be tempted to create a one-sided all bad person, which is never quite as interesting the reader or as challenging for the writer. As you read this article, keep in mind that narcissism, which appears as the ultimate self-centeredness, is built upon a weak sense of self, a profound difficulty with intimacy, and even joy.

The bad guy as a narcissist goes back to Greek and Roman mythology and before. The most basic evil takes root when a person puts his own needs ahead of all others, when he is so intent on his own needs, he does not value or consider the needs of others. He does not believe that other people are not as important as he is, though a superficial undivided attention can win him access to lesser mortals.

Example: The man in my office told me why he needed my help. He’d been an unemployed young man with a business degree he didn’t want to use because starting at the bottom of a career ladder would be boring. He wanted to go to law school, he said, for the prestige and access to women, but didn’t have the money. He decided he should marry a school teacher who would have a steady income, stay busy and out of his way, and not mind his taking all the money because having a husband who was going to be a lawyer would bring her prestige. He was successful in this plan. The reason he had consulted a psychologist was, “I have to divorce her, but I was thinking it would be nice for her to have someone to talk to.” 

In other words, he wanted me to help him with his upward mobility by convincing his wife to exit pleasantly.  

!Alert! !Alert! This column is written as an aid to character writing. The idea is to have fun. I have in no way researched and covered all areas on the subject. Please do not use my words to label your friends, relatives, and ex-husbands. Well, okay, maybe the ex. But, seriously people, there are other sites if you want an official diagnosis. The goal of MysteryShrink is to provide a pleasant interlude. 

Why are narcissists such good bad people?

What’s fun is the way the world surprises narcissists.

Excellent Movie Example: Primal Fear. In this movie, the character played by Edward Norton (excellent brooding character) successfully outwits his lawyers and the jury. And true to form, in the end, when he has fooled them all, and cannot be retried for the crime, he throws his achievement, his superiority in the face of the people who fought for him, the people he used to do the outwitting. 

A narcissist is surprised when his selfish behavior is hurtful. An example would be the deadbeat dad who rationalizes not seeing or supporting his non-custodial children. He finds it surprising or even unbelievable that his children have been affected, in which case, he will accuse his ex-wife of making up problems. 

Now, again, be careful before you slap a narcissistic label on anyone. This is not a labeling-making site. 

Now back to the deadbeat dad. A non-custodial father who doesn’t support his kids could also be in reaction to a narcissistic ex-wife who is sure her children will be better off to never see their dad since she doesn’t want to have to see him or deal with the arrangements and ambiguity required of blended families. This is the woman who does whatever it takes to win, sometimes including false accusations of sexual abuse without concern that the children could be damaged by her testimony. When the character is a convicted murderer who is forced to listen to the relatives of his victim describe what they have suffered, he is mildly surprised (he’s too cool to show surprise) to here that the lives of parents, children, siblings and friends are changed forever by the death of a loved one.

Excellent Book Example: Lawrence Block’s Hit Man. Anne Rice’s The Vampire Lestat.  In both of these, you are seduced into the thinking of the bad guys. You start to hope the vampire gets a people meal and that the hit man gets his target. Now those are good characters.

A narcissist is surprised when his superiority over others is not recognized. In his view, the world of ordinary beings should be grateful that he even bothers to join us for ordinary events like childbirth and family reunions. He doesn’t care all that much what others do unless their activities interfere with receiving special attention.

Excellent Movie Examples: In the Silence of the Lambs, a condemned man still controls others as a way to prove superiority. In The Dark Knight, the Joker is on a mission to prove superiority to Batman.

A narcissist is surprised when the current provider of admiration (referred to as lover or spouse) raises a fuss when he moves on to the next provider of admiration (lover or spouse). Serial monogamy with affairs is the usual arrangement in order to garner needed attention. Moving on is a trademark since unbridled admiration from the same person grows tiring, and suspect, since the very reason the partner was chosen in the first place—their one down position—means he or she no longer values their admiration. The worship of a new conquest is the life’s blood for the character. The new conquest will not question his or her superiority. 

Narcissists are surprised when the life of the person he or she killed (or dumped) is considered to be as valuable as his own life. 

Excellent Movie Example: Schlindler’s List. What better story to show how others are sacrificed to the will of another who does not consider those killed of equal value to themselves.

A narcissist is surprised and often angry when others do not believe and support his ideas of grandiose success. Luckily, since others are not as smart as he is, he discounts the source and moves on to a new admirer. Narcissistic characters see their partners as appendages, appendages that can be cut off if they do not subjugate their lives, and put the narcissists’ plans for glory first. Remember, when the character is consistent, he or she doesn’t plan on hurting someone by lapping off an arm when he or she is no longer useful, the narcissist doesn’t see why the ex-arm doesn’t fade away pleasantly. This pattern can be seen when a divorced parent is under the impression that he or she can simply “start over” without financial and parenting obligations. 

Excellent Movie Examples: All About Eve, and Sunset Boulevard. In both movies the starlet who wants to make a comeback and the starlet clawing her way to the top, makes sure to surround herself with people who support their fantasies of grandiose success. 

 Next Character in Why People Do Stuff:  Love and Murder

Tags: Narcissism, Narcissist, Why people do stuff