Dateline:  Mimi’s Branch World Headquarters

Cable Guy Meets the Keystone Cops, Part 2

Set-up:  If you missed part one of the Cable Guy and the Keystone Cops, go back one.

Okay, now, you recall that I have just been assured by Cable Phone Help Guy, Matthew, that switching from Time Warner Webmail to Windows Live Mail was going to be “a snap.” During our discussion I lost the phone connection (I was cut off) three times. Luckily, dutiful Matthew had covered this rare happenstance by taking down my cell number.

Which he didn’t use in the hour I had before leaving to do errands. However, once I was going seventy, then ten, then seventy miles an hour on the freeway, Ring-a-ding-ding…Up pops the Time Warner Help Line reconnecting me. The helpline people “sincerely” wanted to help…so would I  please enter the phone number used on the account?” Sure. Like I can see the numbers on the phone without my reading glasses…but not to worry….I think I have some cheapo readers in here…somewhere down in the console… “Hang on” I tell the machine. But no, the smarty pants recorded voice just keeps after me while I root through the console, “Sorry, I could not understand your response. Please, enter the phone number used on the account. Or, enter ‘one’ to return to the main menu.”… Next I take on the glove
compartment… “Please wait,” I say. “Sorry, I could not understand your response. Please, enter the phone number used on this account. Or, enter ‘one’ to enter the main menu.”

I explain my situation ($#%!) to Sugar Voice Machine Lady. (I have a fear that cell phone and cable companies secretly tape responses to their machine requests to use in court if we are ever accused of assault.) Then I fling the phone into the back seat.

I calm down and retrieve the phone at the next light. Dang it. I’ll just drive over to the Time Warner office. I know it’s somewhere
along the freeway. I punch in the Time Warner number to get the address. I listen through the menu for such information. I press the option for hours and location. Ah…

Nope. The next voice on the line is, you guessed it. Sugar Voice Machine Lady informing me that to better serve my call, I need to punch in the phone number for the account. I scream into the tiny phone, “Why?” I asked the dashboard sincerely. “I want and address! What if I don’t even have an account? An address!”

Back at home, having failed at phone help and face time help, I turn to on-line chat help. And, wouldn’t you know it?  Both Ted and Steve, the first two guys on the job, agreed with Matt. Switching from Time Warner Webmail to Windows Live Mail was going to “be a snap.” Both of them took charge of my computer and while it was fun watching the cursor jump around, neither could figure out the problem.

The third guy Mark suggested perhaps I should make the server transfer manually—with his help, of course.  And, this, dear friends, is where the whole operation went off the rails….manana.