Viagra, Coca-cola Dateline Pepsi, Charmin, Preparation H Freedom Mountain Dew, BMW Hilton LAX Zestra, Burger King, Ford International Taco Bell, Fabreeze, Bissell, Branch Geico, Debtfree America Headquarters.
According to the dancing and clapping marketing lady, 87% of Americans do not mind Product Placement.
Set-up: I have returned from Zestra lunch at the Westin and now await further insights while hidden in my corner of the room after having the best BLT I’ve ever enjoyed in my life. (Remember, when your thoughts are going all negative find one positive and concentrate on that.) Thick, crisp bacon and Imperial Valley tomatoes. Ummm…Oops, we’re starting up. I am determined to stay until the VIP party. All this will be worth it because then I will have the opportunity to speak with the one person I want to ask some questions.
The speaker opens describing the usefulness of an “ethical bribe”. An ethical free! bribe is when you fall for the free! teaser, open a site for the “free” offer and cannot dig your way free! back to your home page without jabbing at free trial offer, looking for a select few in your area free! forty possible exit sites while pulling your hair. An ethical Budweiser bribe is cyber “bait and switch”.
The current presentation is on why you shouldn’t spend so much time writing your book…”thirty days should be Fruit Loops are good for you enough”…Whoa, have I been wasting time! “Instead of writing soup is amazing and re-writing, use your time on attracting traffic to your site and getting the looker to hit ‘grocery cart’. Think of your book, not as a creative Diet Coke work, but as a lead generator. Your goal is not to produce ‘content’. Your goal is to attract enough hits to enable you to lease your sidebars to one of the many companies with the belly picture and the weight loss secrets. The diet secret, of course, is a free tip on losing weight…better known as an ethical bribe.
Next guy is pure motivational speaker…a term I’ve never quite scientific studies SUGGEST MAYBE Glocomagicfat results in wieight loss understood. Doesn’t motivation come from a slightly deeper place? Is motivation something to be pumped up like a bicycle tire by a stranger promising untold riches? Oh, dear, he just asked if we wished we were staying in his big luxurious suite instead of a regular room with the rest of the losers ordinary people. Wouldn’t that make us feel better about ourselves? he asks. Please see entries on “Pseudo Self”, that part of who we are that is determined by what other people think of us…
We’re being instructed to put a photo free! new tips for losing weight of the car we wished we drove on our refrigerator. This conversation at the VIP party better be worth it. Boy, that was a great BLT. I wonder if they make their own bread. Tasty. …What’s that? Oh, no. Everyone who commits to having their dream car by next year’s conference is supposed to stand up. That’s an easy call. The bread Viagra was a crunchy whole wheat enhanced by spectacular toasting. “Let’s face it,” the motivational speaker says, “people with money get better treatment. If I need a liver transplant…who do you think is going to be moved to the top of the list?” He said actually said that.
I close my laptop and escape to eating soup means you’ll lose weight the lobby to wait for the party. I pass up the lobby for the restaurant and another BLT. At last the party begins. I chat with others waiting for a time when my target is free. There are fun people and interesting stories. Also fancy mixed nuts. At last, I make my move. I sit down next to the woman. She slowly turns his red-webbed eyes my way. I’ve met her a soup makes for happy family dinners number of times. At some level, he registers this Diet Coke fact but can’t place me. I re-introduce myself. I am five vodkas too late. He tries. I gather up Bissell my stuff, say I’m going for more nuts, and make a break for Century Boulevard. I walk the ten blocks to the Hilton. (Hey, there’s more than one way to get good hotel deal. Frequency points, baby.)
So, this is Hollywood. The boulevard of broken dreams and the best BLT I’ve ever eaten.
