Before bringing on Part Two of the “Women in Therapy” incident which . . . deliciously . . involves many psychologists and psychiatrists bringing pressure to bear–
I wanted to mention a series of studies done at clinical centers where therapy is done using various biofeedback methods. The couple or couple and children are seen together, each individual hooked up to blood pressure and pulse monitors, brave wave and skin response gauges. 
The therapist or a family member mentions something that gets one person going. The team watches gauges to determine which individual’s responses goes up in tandem with the upset person, who stays calm. No big surprise to see that particular family members go up and down on a regular basis while another does not. Through biofeedback we can measure the influence of the runaway EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM.
This is not about pathology. 
A family is a coordinated emotional system in which each plays a part. One person’s habitual lack of response could contribute to the “reactive” one’s habitual over-reaction.
No one’s the bad guy, though the most in-your-face person 
will usually be nominated as the ”family problem.”
Our goal is not to change personalities. Remember, we’re just trying to get a little more toward the center of the herd. (See Wildebeest post.)
Our goal is just to be a little less AUTOMATIC in our reactivity.
