A Psycholgist on the Loose
Posts tagged anger management
Are you a “BOUNCER” or a “CRACK-UP?”
Dateline: London Heathrow International Branch Office, Several years ago, back when I was not the Emotioanl Maturity Queen I am now….
“What are the thoughts that determine you? What are the thoughts that destroy You?”
As the man says on NCIS, successful Black Ops are 80% planning and 20% execution. I agree with him with one…just one tiny…added thought. Planning only works when it works. When your plan tanks, what do you do next? How happy are you when your careful and time-consuming Plan A goes off track?
Does your fact-observing, what’s best in the long-term…Thinking Guidance System remain in charge or do you fall More >
Devil in Blue Bathing Suit Invades Paradise
But do not fret. There’s always something to worry about if you try. And I do try…
Dateline: International World Headquarters Hilton Cabo San Lucas, Baja California. The La Vista Restaurant, so named as it overlooks the Sea of Cortes… Sure, the scene is lovely…white beaches, blue-green water, palapas, fresh shrimp, fellas in white military-style shorts and shirts, meeting your every need even before you think of it…. “Yes, that’s perfect with shade, another pomegranate margarita? Certainly. And thanks, you remember I like extra ice….”
If you can’t make it here without complaining….Well, you’re at my level. We wouldn’t make it an More >
Emotional Maturity of Oklahoma Native Stuns Texas Nutcase, Part 3
One man, alone in a Lawton, Oklahoma motel room with an anxious, freaked out partner…does the IMPOSSIBLE. He responds using his THINKING instead of his EMOTIONS…..when I’d provoked and provoked and provoked…
At that moment, my belief that a person can change, that a person can learn to manage anxiety…soared.
If ever someone was out-of-control and unpleasant the night in the Value Inn, that person was me. (See previous two entries)…And, yet, the person with me, did not respond to my immaturity with anxiety-driven emotional immaturity of his own. Instead of ‘going with his emotions’ he responded to me in a differentiated way.
Definition of Differentiation: the degree to More >
The ‘Jellybean Incident’, the Moment that Changed Everything
Jellybeans….Jellybeans were everywhere…and I didn’t have time or energy for the clumsy interruption. Who does have the time for messy interuptions?
Trudging my computer case across the tiled floor of my office and out to my car, I bent over to pick up a Coke can I’d earlier set by a chair…
When the opened box of Ike and Mike’s (tube-shaped jellybeans for those into adult foods) tucked into one of the case’s pockets splattered everywhere… I snarled, I cursed, I bent over to pick up the flying pieces….Of course, in the process, I spilled more as, in my hurry and misery, I More >
The Rugby Coach Who Changed the World
Back in the ‘woo-woo-far-out-living-for-the-moment’ days…the notion that each person draws to her what she needs was bandied about. Not being the easy-to-woo-woo type, I didn’t buy the idea right away.
Yet, I couldn’t help but notice that the same day I decided to go to Spain, the woman in the next booth was telling her lunch mate about her trip to Spain, Spanish language magazines started being sold at the grocery store, and Univision carried the Astro games.
I couldn’t help but notice that when I made up my mind that driving home from my in-laws…I would point out one thing my mother-in-law More >
Anger and Fusion
Fusion: the naturally occuring process when what goes on emotionally inside one person is influenced by what is going on inside another person.
Let’s take what happens when one person is angry toward another person. Fusion is the automatic transfer of anger and upset. The degree to which this occurs depends on several elements. One element is how important the angry person is to be person on the receiving end.
Which leads me to report a minor victory in this project of becoming a person able to function according to my own BEST THINKING, instead of having my functioning TOTALLY DETERMINED by WHATEVER EMOTIONAL CHARGE is More >
Only One of Us Can Be Right, Right?
The Air Conditioning Controversy that Ended True Love
Our Emotional Guidance System is designed to rid us of anxiety. Differences of opinion often, maybe even usually, generate anxiety. Thus our Emotional Guidance Systemwill do whatever is necessary to obliterate differences of opinion. The simplest method of disposing with differences of opinion is to insist on DUALISTIC thinking. That is….Either I am right and you are wrong or….You are right and…naah…that’s unthinkable.
A woman was dating a fellow she really liked and he seemingly felt the same. As they were leaving her house for their fifth date,
The lady paused and said, “Wait. I need to go back and More >