Which is more real, the person we are RESPONDING to, or the person who exists? 

In fact, we can only see people as we expect them to be, how we believe them to be.  Many times I have seen a client (or family member) change–become more or less optimistic, more or less energetic–when leaving or entering a new relationship.  The new wife thinks his quirks are cute; the former wife thought he was crazy.  The new teacher thinks the boy is quiet becuase he “has an artist’s way;” his teacher before said he was pathologically shy.  What those around us BELIEVE More >