Psychologists Can See Inside People’s Heads

Years of training and experience enables those of us who study the mind to read people better and faster than those without such training.  Proof, you ask?  Why just the other day I’m aboard my private executive cubby, Seat 21F  American Airlines, on a long ride from Seattle. 

Previously, I have mentioned that my “employees” serving my executive cubby capsule have tapped right into my Emotional Guidance System (Notice, I, do not dip into my trouble-stirring my Emotional Guidance System—THEY do it.  They reach right inside of my head and give the ole Emotional Guidance System a twist.)… by running out of peanuts before reaching my seat, not to mention other obviously intentional slights involving timing of treats and lack of special treatment.

I was hideously betrayed on this particular four and a half hour flight by a flight attendent who should know how fragile I am and yet, did not consider my needs for special treatment. The doors were about to close.  I’m breathing a sigh of relief because the middle seat is empty.  I consider this treat extremely important.  In fact, when the seat is empty my sense of specialness gets a sick little boost.  Then… they let on a stand-by passenger…the relieved soul staggers down the aisle…clearly so happy to be on board he’s willing to take any seat… Then…this is where I am dastardly betrayed….

The flight attendant, who should be thinking of nothing by my comfort, actually says, “There’s a middle by here on the exit row 21, sir.”

I know.  I, too, was horrified.  What’s wrong with these people?  I force a smile as I remove my computer, three books, mini-computer, pizza in a bag, and miscellaneous equipment from the middle seat.  The inconsiderate passenger plops right in, no apology…nothing.  My Emotional System, that part of my brain designed to get rid of anxiety, launches a rather steamy inner dialogue:  “Why did she have to say that?  Now I won’t be as comfortable, won’t be able to get as much accomplished.  What a waste.  I can’t believe this.  This shouldn’t be happening.”

But I was able to call on my Thinking Guidance System and lay out the facts. I could still work.  The extra room would have been nice, but just possibly the flight attendent’s suggestion had been an innocent attempt to be helpful.  I was cool. AND  THEN….came the discovery that the middle man brought with him the unmistakable fragrance of a young man who’d skipped his shower for several days.  Did I mention this was a long flight? Remarkably, I answered my Emotional Guidance System, which was exaggerating the situation, with facts.  Primarily the fact that we humans habituate to smells quickly.

My orientation toward Middle Seat Guy mellowed further noticing his rather splotchy haircut and that he spent his time carefully and slowly reading the “Sky Mall” catalog.  He read it three times and I became aware that he was studying the pictures and not reading.  In fact, his movements, his haircut, and even his odor made me aware that the man was mentally challenged.  I recalled the blank, rather desperate look on his face as he came on the plane at the last minute.  I understood why the flight attendant had made a special effort to find him a seat.  I forgave her.  Middle Seat Man then took out the safety card and studied the drawings.  Then he dropped his head and looked around for something else with pictures.  I felt badly for him and thought about giving him one of the two mysteries from the seat pocket in front of me, but I didn’t want to embarrass him into admitting the texts were more than he could read.  So I held back to save his pride.

Halfway through the flight Middle Seat Guy retrieved something from his luggage in the overhead bin.  He returned to his seat, flipped open his computer, and worked on electrical engineering plans for the rest of the flight.