When FEELINGS are SELF DEFEATING

   I’ve got a question for you, doc.  Feelings are “bleep?” 

What about feelings of “love?”  What about “joy?”

    Of course, those “up” and “generous” feelings are great.  They make life beautiful.  (Needing to be “in love” or needing to be treated in a way that keeps us feeling loved can be a deal breaker of a self defeating habit.) 

    Feelings are “BLEEP” when we’re talking about ANXIETY driven emotions.  Anger.  Jealousy.  Self-hate.  Insecurity.  Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  Negativity.  Fear. 

   These emotions represent EMOTIONAL PRESSURES from within ourselves.     These feelings are BIG FAT LIARS.  Our anger, jealousy, self-hate, self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helpless–our negativity and fear–point us toward short term solutions. 

    These emotions say:  “So what, if last time this happened you did ____ and it turned out horribly?    Do the same thing again, only harder, faster, and louder.”  “If someone loves you they should put up with your negativity.”  “You shouldn’t hold back your wrath because this isn’t your fault anyway.”    “You should just quit trying to reach your goals because you’re not as smart or capable as other people.”

    These messages from our EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM are based on FEAR . . . 

 not FACTS.

    Imagine you are holding a big red “STOP!” sign.  When you recognize that your EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM has popped and is trying to take charge–whack yourself in the head with your imaginary sign.       

Note:  Okay, going around wacking myself with an imaginary sign provided my friends and family with the last bit of evidence needed to label me crazy.  But, oh, well.  You can get away with a lot more once you give up defending your sanity. 

Tomorrow:  The Horseshow Incident or

When I learned not to believe everything my EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM has to say.